Batman and Robin
1997
Participants:
Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone
Directlessor:
Joel Schumacher
Links: IMDB
Trailer:
Reviewing Crappy
Movie So You Don’t Have To
In celebration of The Dark Knight Rises coming out tomorrow (19th of August 2012) and that I have got a ticket to it I thought I would do a review of the worst Batman Films, Batman and Robin.
Quick history. This is the only film to not involve Tim Burton (Director - Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992), Producer - Batman Forever (1995) or Christopher Nolan - Batman Begins (2005), Dark Knight (2008) and Dark Knight Rises (2012). And it shows. While the original Batman (1989) doesn't not hold up well Batman and Robin was the only one to be critically panned when it came out.
The director was Joel Schumacher who directed and Batman Forever (1995) but had no Burton to look over it. The result is an unmitigated mess and the Batman franchise left alone for 10 years.
So what when wrong. Well, there's much to hate about this film. So much.
Batman and Robin was basically green lighted straight after the success of Batman Forever. Tim Burton didn't want to direct it again and Schumacher was given the seat. He has been quoted to say he want to pay tribute to the 1960s starring Adam West. If anyone has seen this, you will know that it would not need any tributing... AT ALL. The shark repellant scene can explain it.
So Schumacher wanted to basically pay tribute to corny one liners, crappy plots, poor costumes and appalling acting. So he did.
The whole film is basically corny one liners. I do not think that one line in this film contains anything that could be considered plot device or story telling just a set up towards another awful joke. Mr Freeze (Schwarzenegger) every line revolves around a ice joke. "Ice to see you" or "It's time to cool down". GRRROOOAAANNNN. All that Robin (Chris O'Donnell) and Batwoman (Alicia Silverstone) do is flirt but in a way that would make you think that the lines were written by a computer, certainly not someone who is ever had any interaction with a real person. I cant imagine why anyone told Uma to talk the way she does. Overacting at its best.
(Fun few others "Adam and Ev-il", "Lets kick some Ice",
The worst has to be the Bat Card....... OH YEAH.
Moving onto what would you consider the plot. As you can imagine there is not much here in the way of plot. I can't really blame Schumacher for this. Very rarely in 80s or 90s films do you see a convincing plot line in an action film. We are spoilt with Nolan's Batmans with in depth background and well told stories. All Batmans in this era are basic origin stories with action scenes and gaps between action scenes.
But, something about this movie has some brilliance in appallingness. Most action scenes revolve around one of the main characters beating up some minions of some sort. Mr Freeze's Ice Skaters, unsuspecting police officers, neon paint covered squatters or even each other.
The other plot device used is the orphan device. Basically to provide drive for all of good guys is that their parents are dead. Batman, Robin and Batgirl have no parents. Mr Freeze has lost his wife. You would think that in Gotham that you have at least a 50% chance of losing your parents or that there are some seriously lazy writers. I tend to go with the later.
The other term to use for the plot is Toyic.
One thing that is seriously appalling is the deception of Bane. Now, Bane in the comics is probably one of Batman's biggest adversary. An intelligent, well organised and strong leader. He is probably well known for breaking the Batman's back making him a paraplegic in the Knightfall storyline. In this he is a mindless bodygaurd for Poison Ivy (Thurman), in fact he doesn't even look like the character in the comics, more of a B-Grade wrestler. It make you wonder what in Harvey Dents name Schumacher was thinking. You have to be thankful that the writers of new superhero movies are more faithful to comic books.
In fact the only believable plot line was Elle McPherson as Batman girlfriend and not being able to comit. I mean Clooney... going out with a gorgeous women ...... and not being marrying her..... that is basically... what? ... real life.
On thing about the 90s movies was the the freedom to spend a lot more money on costumes and sets and the invention of plastic. Instead of relying on old studio sets and what costumes were out the back, movies made extravagant sets, custom made costumes and modest computer graphics. This went into overdrive in Batman and Robin.
The costumes in this film are fantastic. Whole one piece plastic suits. I mean the movie starts with one close up of George Clooney in his suit with his spectaular firm....... nipples???
OOOHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHH
But the worst is the acting. I cannot fathom why these actors decided to do this film. The script is monumentally appalling. There must have been massive amount of cash in it. Clooney admits that this is his worst film, Uma Thurman must have watched a lot of William Shatners Capitan Kirk because that is how she talks through the film. Arnie is well Arnie, but has lines worse than any other film he has ever done, worse that "Its not a tumour". O'Donnell and Silverstone, well, they are stuck in the 90s. In fact I am sure that if you ever see them nowadays, they are still in the 90s. Along with boy bands, pedal pushers and a successful Labor Party.
So much of it is hammed up, over acting and poor dialogue.
George Clooney is the strangest out of the lot. You have to remember, he was not the star he is now. He had done ER and a few successful films. He must have done it for the money, but he is particularly appalling. He looks uncomfortable throughout the whole film. He does alright Bruce Wayne, but when it comes to Batman its strange. He flights weirdly, blank and unconvincingly. In interview he has stated that the Batman costume was stiff and awful, maybe was that. He stumbles through oneliners, he must have hated them. I am not sure why Val Kilmer was removed, he was ok. Wiki says that Schumacher didn't get along with him, but I can imagine if Kilmer turned it down.
In fact the good thing to come out of this film is the soundtrack, which is hideously embarrassing. Songs like Smashing
Pumpkins "The End Is the Beginning Is the End" which won a Grammy and
contributions by R.E.M, R. Kelly and Jewel.
All in
all a fabulously appalling film. One to be missed if you can. But, if you do
want to see it, you will giggle though the lines, poor sexual innuendo and
neon. Enjoy the last of a Batman era full of corny lines, pathetic action and
terrible eye masks. Enjoy the thought, that not matter how hard it tries Dark
Knight Rises cannot be this bad.
I give it
4 out of 5 steaming wet turds.
